Happy Birthday

I promised a blog post, but I'm not in the mood to blog.

You see, blogging is an inherently self-centered activity, and right now is not the time for me to be self-centered. I'm not feeling particularly funny right now, either. So if you've come here looking for cummerbund jokes, I'm going to disappoint you. You see, at not quite 4:30pm yesterday a 7 pound, 5 ounce Baby Boy came into this world. My Impending Nephew was born healthy and (one imagines) happy. His parents (who have settled on a name other than Joaquin) are thrilled. My Betrothed was lucky enough to be in town when it happened, I wasn't. But I did get a bit of an adrenaline high from talking to her about it, texting her about it, and thinking about it.

So this post is dedicated to that baby boy. If, some day in the far flung future, you are sifting through old internet sites on your Apple iGlasses, you may come across this post. If the anonymity doesn't throw you off, I want you to know that this is your post. It went up the day after you were born, and it's meant to be about you. Even if your Uncle to Be had a hard time removing himself from the spotlight in this inherently self-centered activity.

Many things happened the week you were born. In fact, just the day before you were born, President Barack Obama gave his first State of the Union Address, and Apple Computer announced a product called the iPad. On the day you were born, the top music album (does music still come in albums when you're reading this?) in the US was a collection of songs recorded to benefit the survivors of an horribly destructive earth quake in Haiti.

2010, the year you were born, has been a bitter-sweet year up til now. Good things have happened, and bad things have happened. So far, though, the best thing that has happened to me this year was when your father sent me a picture of your mother holding you in her arms.

And that's it for this week's post. For those who missed it, I did an extra post on Monday, and I'll probably do another extra post this coming Monday. Cummerbund jokes will resume next Friday at the latest.

Happy Birthday, Nephew.

~G2B

Link Mondays: A New Tradition (?) (Or: Why I should change my name to Jennifer if I want to be a wedding blogger)

Maybe I'm getting a bit over-ambitious. So far, this year, I've kept up with my resolution to post once a week. I don't know if bumping that up to twice a week is necessarily wise, given my past tendencies to burn out on projects like this relatively quickly. (See November and December, 2009)

But I also don't feel like a post made entirely of links to other sites should count as a "post" for purposes of the aforementioned resolution.

So I'm posting this on a Monday rather than the usual Friday, and hoping to start a new tradition of posting lots of links to things on Mondays. Today I'll be linking to several blogs that I have found amusing, useful, intriguing, or captivating during my tenure as Groom to Be.

First up is a site My Betrothed and I have been following since well before I started this blog, Cake Wrecks! Five days a week (sometimes more) Jen Yates and/or her husband John post one or more professionally decorated cakes that just really make you stop and go "WTF?!" in the truest since of the acronym. On Sundays they post a "Sunday Sweets" feature, which is all about cakes that have gone right. It's not strictly a wedding related site, but they do have many choice wedding cake wrecks and sweets. Also, groom's cakes, a tradition I don't entirely understand. They have a book for sale, as well as some other stuff. This Sunday Jen's post was all about Mario Wedding Cakes! Since both My Betrothed and I are big Nintendo fans, we really enjoyed this one.

Next comes a wedding specific site, Green Wedding Shoes. The author of this site, also named Jen, is a creative director, graphic designer, and stylist. She describes herself as a recent newlywed, and her blog is just pretty! (I'm losing guy cred here, aren't I?) Don't get me wrong, there is text on the site, and she's a lovely writer but when I'm browsing her blog I mostly just stare and stare at the pictures. If you're planning a wedding, and need to peruse for inspiration, you could do much worse than scrolling through a few of Jen's blog posts. She seems to prefer funky and/or natural wedding concepts, which I like. She's got several posts on green weddings, Do it Yourself ideas, and backyard weddings, all of which I'm still exploring. She also posts a lot about vendors that are local to her. And right now, until the 31st of the month, she's doing a giveaway for a free "Dream Love Shoot" for an engaged or married couple. She also has a ton of links that I'm still working my way through. For instance:

I just learned about the blog Earth Friendly Weddings while putting together this very post! Apparently it's the "official blog" of Earthly Affair, an eco-friendly wedding invitation site. The blog itself, though, is not limited to advertising the company's invites. Instead, there's information on buying organic food, some eco-conscious jewelry, and pictures of pretty wedding cakes. Which, I think, brings me full circle. Wait, not quite there yet. Turns out the blogger for Earth Friendly Weddings is named... Jen. Are these all the same person or something?

As I'm still new to the blogging thing, please feel free to let me know if this type of link-dumping is boring, useful, or both. See you Friday!

So... What Am I Looking At?

Last weekend My Betrothed and I once again managed to be in the same city at the same time. This is going to be an increasingly rare event over the next couple of months, so we did our best to savor it. By which I mean, of course, that we interviewed a photographer, tasted some cake, shopped for invitations, and helped my Impending Sister in Law buy some maternity clothes. I'm not going to turn this site into "Impending Uncle" but did you know that some maternity stores set up a sort of "daddy's grotto" with flat screen television and free coffee, water, and juice? I enjoyed it! It was much better than the changing rooms at most department stores. Is it too early for me to start thinking about continuing this blog as "Impending Dad" after the wedding? It doesn't have quite the same "ring" to it, but still.

Anyway, on to the wedding planning.

Did you know that every year, in January, PF Chang's hosts the Arizona Rock n' Roll Marathon? Did you know that it cuts the Phoenix metropolitan area in half and makes getting from certain points "A" to certain points "B" nearly impossible? Did you know that two college educated, reasonably intelligent, professional adults can spend nearly an hour attempting (and failing) to cross the marathon line by car, by rail, and on foot with no success before remembering the existence of the freeway system in the city they both grew up in? I did not know any of these things until last Saturday. Do you know what this has to do with wedding planning?

We had agreed to meet with one of the photographers we're considering at a certain Point B, but we woke up that morning at a certain Point A. Luckily, though neither of us is really what I'd call an "early riser," we're both what I would call "paranoid about time," so we were out the door early, and arrived at Point B just before the photographer herself showed up.

The interview process was pretty straightforward. Outside of a few practical matters, however, My Betrothed and I come at this process from very different places, I believe. She looks at a picture (or an invitation, or a decorated cake) and sees specific elements that she recognizes as pleasing to her (or displeasing, as the case may be). I look at something like that and I get a general impression that is either positive or negative. If you give me long enough to stare at a photo, without the photographer right there looking at me, I can probably pick out things I like or don't like.

Here's an example of the difference: My Bride to Be was looking at a photographer's website the other night and mentioned that "she tends to cut off people's feet." If anything, when looking at the same photos, I may have noticed that "something" seemed "off." I had certainly not noticed that the "something" was missing feet. When I looked, though, it was true. That particular photographer (not the one we interviewed) left lots of space above people's heads in many of her photos, and this often lead to chopping the wedding party off at the ankles, knees, or thighs.

I'm not totally without attention to detail. I surprised my Bride to Be recently by describing to her the plumbing under her kitchen sink even though I had only seen it in passing, and not recently. I have identified and worked around problems with the sound system that we're setting up for the reception. But this visual design stuff throws me for a loop. And though I'm sure My Betrothed would never specifically come out and tell me that my approach to these things is "wrong," it's clearly a handicap when planning a wedding. So I keep having to tell myself to focus on things I'm not used to in ways unfamiliar to me. I keep having to ask myself (or My Betrothed if I'm not embarrassed), "so... what am I looking at?" just to stay on top of things.

It works, to an extent. The first time we went shopping for invitations was a disaster. We were talking about which ones I liked, and when I was unable to recall a certain design element from an invite I had said was "my favorite," she got very frustrated, thinking I wasn't taking this seriously. This most recent trip was much more productive, though I'm not sure I can take all the credit for that. Or any of it. Thanks to My Betrothed's do-it-yourself skills, we had already narrowed down the style considerably, and so I had a much better idea of our goal, rather than the "what am I looking at?" reaction.

I can tell you this, though: cake tasting is right up my alley! Mmmmmm. Cake!

~G2B

The Thing from the Expo!

The teeming masses filled my vision in every direction, a never ending feeding frenzy that simply could not be withstood. They moved as one, converging on first one location, then another, in a steady, single minded stream of mayhem. The exits were blocked. I could not escape. Nor could I avoid detection for long. There was no way out.

There was no way out.

There was no way out.

"Sweetie," My Betrothed said, shaking me, "get up! We've got to go to the bridal show today!"

"Oh!" I said, glad to wake up to her smiling face from the nightmare I had been having. On to the Bridal Expo!

Did I mention I don't like crowds? I think I did.

Let's back up a ways.

My Betrothed and I arrived from opposite ends of the state to attend the show I mentioned in last week's post. The first thing she did was open up the envelope that had our tickets in it. Along with the passes and various essential information were our name tags.

Hers:



And mine:



Ahem. "Guest." My Betrothed is the "Bride" but I'm just a "Guest." I see. Now, I understand, of course, that many brides choose to go to these things with their bridesmaids, mothers, friends, et cettra. But could there have been, perhaps, a box on the website that she could have checked to get a "Groom" nametag? No? Just asking.

We arrived at the convention center, and a slow steady trickle of people (admittedly, mostly women) were converging upon it. We walked in the front doors and were immediately met with a string quartet playing Pachelbel's Canon in D. There were big giveaways (with, of course, strings attached) in the lobby, but My Betrothed pulled me to the registration booth. We were given a big bag full of flyers and things. I pointed at my (still blank) "Guest" name-tag, and started to ask the person behind the desk about it. Without a word, she took the tag from me, and handed me this:



I was thrilled. I was ready. Into the fray!

The fray turned out to be rooms full of vendors, looking like some sort of Mirror, Mirror universe version of ComicCon. Except, of course, that in the Mirror, Mirror universe characters who were normally clean shaven wore goatees. In this universe, the thousands of unwashed, goatee'd geeks were replaced by beardless, mostly well groomed brides to be.

There were still lots of booths with expensive things that people want but don't need, and, oddly enough, some "booth-babes." I wouldn't have thought using frighteningly skinny women in bikinis would be an effective way to attract the attention of brides, but apparently the people at the sunless tanning booths seemed to disagree.

No, I did not snap a picture of that. My Betrothed was holding my hand and I was not about to start taking pictures of mostly naked women.

We stopped by several booths with photographers. Before the Expo we were pretty close to choosing one. Now we aren't. My Betrothed (who had attended this event with her sister the year before, for a wedding now nearing its first anniversary) bemoaned that there were not nearly as many caterers with food samples this year. We passed a booth advertising a string quartet (this one with a recording rather than live players). Oddly enough, this booth was also playing Canon in D. The crowd was beginning to get to me, when I saw a light at the end of the tunnel:



Booze. Yes, there were samples of booze. There were also open cash bars, but I didn't think that was a good idea. Not that having a full sized drink sounded bad, but buying one did not appeal to me. The picture above is of a kind of pre-mixed champagne cocktail. It was alcopop. It would have to do. Then we rounded the corner and found a booth for a local winery. Free tasting! Ka-ching!

Yes, there are vineyards in Arizona. Some of them are even decent. Get used to it! When California falls into the Pacific, the climate here will be even better, too.

We also saw some flower arrangers that caught our eyes. I understand flowers are important in this sort of thing. Oh, and we passed yet another booth playing Canon in D.

Towards the end, the crowds began getting to both of us. A few vendors who we had hoped to see were not there (if I had read the website more carefully, I would have known that). By the time we got to the end, where the Bridal Fashion Show was, the models were done walking the catwalk, and had decided that they were too sexy for their bouquets, which they threw everywhere. So we tried for the exit and it was closed.

There was no way out.

There was no way out.

We would have to turn around and battle our way through this:



We traveled upstream, like salmon going to spawn. Eventually we made it back to the entrance, which was the only sanctioned exit. We passed, again, the live string quartet at the doors. We stopped and listened. We asked them to play "All You Need is Love." (Love, Actually FTW!) As we turned to go, thoroughly enchanted, they began playing Canon in D again.

Then we spent the day helping my Impending Sister in Law, and my Impending Brother in Law put together my Impending Nephew's Ikea furniture (he's due very soon. His name is the subject of some contention, though. "Brady Zac" is not his official name. Sadly, Joaquin isn't either. This feud is mostly between people who aren't the parents.) If there's one thing Ikea knows, it's how to make baby furniture in a way that really hurts to put together. Ow.

Afterward, on our drive home, My Betrothed turned to me and spoke. She had been battered by a morning of over-stimulation and an afternoon of hand-numbing hex-wrench twisting.

"I'm glad we went to the Bridal Show," she said.

"Me, too," I agreed.

"Can you put that part in the blog?"

"Sure."

And unlike the exchange and dream sequence that opened this post, that last conversation actually happened. And we both actually meant it. In the end, after all the over-exposure to the Wedding Industrial Complex, and all the rest, we took away some valuable information about photography and booze that may well prove invaluable. We've scheduled meetings with two photographers, and will probably go to a wine tasting this weekend. And I like to think that we reaffirmed that there are some things we don't want in a wedding.

Like the bizarre foundation garments meant to hide large bottoms or pad small ones.

Or fake tans.

Or 3-D wedding videos.

I could go on.

I realize that, no matter what we do, some things are constants. Pachelbel's Canon in D will be at our wedding in some shape or form, no matter how hard we may try to avoid it.

But that doesn't matter. Because there will be booze. I mean love. It's all around us. It's all you need.

~G2B

Various and Sundry

Over to the right, I believe, you will now begin to see some Google Ads. This is because My Betrothed and I have thought it over, talked it over, and decided that selling out to the man just a teensy little bit couldn't hurt, not just this once. I have some limited control over that ad space, so if you ever see something that offends you, or that you think would offend me, or My Betrothed, or something that is just plain offensive, give me a heads up. I'll see what I can do. For now, though, know that all the money (if any) earned from this sell-out will go to the wedding.

It's not the most creative way to supplement the bride and groom's budget. If creative payment is what you want, the couple at Wedding Cans may be what you're looking for. If you haven't seen the news coverage of this venture (my mother discovered this and forwarded it to me. Of course, my mother holds a black-belt in Google-fu, so watch out!) and are too lazy to click the link, here's the scoop: Pete and Andrea of Spokane, WA, are attempting to pay for their wedding by recycling 400,000 aluminum cans. Now that's something I can get behind. In fact, My Betrothed and I are contemplating blatantly ripping this idea off, but we're not sure cash for recycle programs in our state really make this feasible, and living (as we do) hundreds of miles apart, we don't really have the time to pick up cans collected by our friends, loved ones, and internet stalkers. We'll keep you posted.

On another tangent, I want to give a shout-out to our friend Wrayvin. Wrayvin is not only the most consistent commenter on Impending Groom, she also supplies us with helpful hints from time to time. Most recently, she posted this link to a blog about a couple in Austin who seem to have similar tastes to our own. Thanks for the tips, Wrayvin!

I shall end this rather aimless and wandering (but Resolution fulfilling!) post with a teaser of next week's installment: My Betrothed has bought us tickets to the Arizona Bridal Show. Fear for me!

~G2B

Welcome 2010 (and I'm back... again)

Happy 2010, everyone.

One of my first resolutions for the new year is to post at least weekly on this blog. The nice thing about that is that I'll be able to look back a year from today and see how I did. The problem with it is I'll be able to look back a year from today and see how I did. Bet you saw that coming.

The holidays have been good to us, if a bit hectic. My first real date with My Betrothed occurred the day before Thanksgiving, 2008, so holidays have continued to be a big deal with us. There's nothing like jumping head-first into a family's November/December traditions to get the pulse of what they're all about. Big shout out to my future Mother and Sisters in Law, for always making me feel at home at theirs. So, that will be my excuse for not posting more often at the end of last year. But that's so 2009. The new Groom 2 Be is a posting machine. Already he's posted every single day of 2010.

So, a quick summary and update of our prenuptial adventures (I'll go into more detail on some of these in a future post):

1. The search for the perfect invitation continues apace (Now accepting suggestions for where to buy recycled card-stock);
2. The hunt for bridesmaid dresses appears to be close to bearing fruit, though we'll see;
3. The quest for a groomsman's gift (and indeed, a second groomsman) is almost ready to begin in earnest;
4. The campaign for good reception music remains mostly successful, even as the new and bloody front of the ceremony music already appears set for a war of attrition;
5. The mission to discover something that can actually be crossed off of the "to do" list is still listed as "unaccomplished." I don't think we've even checked off "finish making 'to do' list."

Okay, that last part was a bit of an exaggeration. We've got venues for the rehearsal dinner, the ceremony, and the reception, as well as an officiant. We've chosen three of what will be a total of four attendants. We've discovered that I had no idea what I was getting into at the start of our wedding invitation search.

My wedding related resolutions:

1. Post weekly to this blog;
2. Save up my half of the wedding expenses;
3. Get myself into "honeymoon shape."

Sorry, was that last bit TMI? Perhaps it wasn't until I implied it was....

So, as we bid adieu to 2009, I can't help but think that if I got engaged last year, and I will get married next year, then the planning ahead of me for this year shall be truly epic, with all the wonder, terror, and excitement that the word "epic" implies.

~G2B